Random hilarious bits of documentation

Read in the charts this week:

• Hospital admission note: “The patient felt a crushing left-sided chest pain, so he called his friend who had had a MI.  The friend advised him to go to the ER.  The patient stopped to get a cheeseburger and then proceeded to the ER, where he was found to have a ST elevation MI.”
• Phone message: “Lesbonurse, the patient wants you to call him back to talk about his alcoholism, cirrhosis and to reassure him that he is not going to die within the next 2 months.”
• Appointment reason: “Multiple Scoliosis”