My colleague at work was telling me about a recent patient. The woman was in her early 30’s with a chief complaint of vaginal discharge. During the HPI, the woman remarked that she has sex (ie: intercourse) 3 times a day, every day. Holy jesus, that’s a lot of sex! Of course, the first thing that my colleague did was to inquire if there was any element of coercion in this robust sex life. No, said the patient, I like having sex this much. Ok, we’ll say for the sake of argument that there is no pressure from this woman’s partner to have sex multiple times per day. How does one have the time or energy for this? Perhaps she has bipolar and is in a manic phase? Perhaps she is a recreational methamphetamine or cocaine user? Perhaps she is the mythical porno woman who needs no foreplay and loves a quickie at any time of day? “Sex 3 times in a day” makes me think of a romantic weekend vacation with a hot new lover…it does not make me think of daily life. It just seems unsustainable. How would one work that into their daily schedule? Morning, afternoon and night? Would you have sex between changing out of your work clothes and sitting down to dinner? Or maybe between dinner and prime-time t.v.? (For those who may be wondering, this patient did in fact have a job, which makes 3-times-a-day sex even more impressive). Time is a factor, so maybe her partner is a minute man. Sex 3 times a day at 2 minutes a pop only adds up to 6 minutes, which seems pretty doable but not very satisfying. Maybe twice in the morning and once before going to sleep? Or perhaps “3” is an average and some days she has sex once and other days 5 or 6 times? Oy, it makes my vagina feel raw to think about it. Of course, if she has a vagina of steel and a libido to go with it, more power to her! I wonder if her partner ever finds it hard to keep up (pun intended).
And for those folks who wondered about the vaginal discharge, apparently she had a wicked case of BV and cervicitis. The treatment plan? Metronidazole and pelvic rest. Take that vagina on a sabbatical, lady. Let the cervix heal. And then you can go back to your herculean sex schedule.