The patient: a man in his 60’s whose wife died last year. Reason for visit: Hypertension
Me: …So, I sent your refill to the pharmacy and I wrote down the name of your new medication. Any questions?
Patient: Well, uh, yes. One question.
Unspoken comment: Ohhhh, I think I know where there is going.
Patient: Uh, well, what do you know about that thing they show on t.v.? Um, the prostitute…no, uh, prostate thing. You know, the pills to extend your…down below.
Me: You mean the products that claim to lengthen your penis?
Unspoken comment: Sir, are you going to hire a prostitute?
Patient: Well, I was just wondering…does it work?
Me: Honestly, no. It doesn’t work. Don’t waste your money. But on a related note, are you having any difficulties with sexual performance? Is that what you’re worried about?
Patient: Uh, no. I haven’t had sex since my wife died. I was just curious. I won’t buy it.
Unspoken comment: You are going to hire a prostitute, aren’t you?
Me: Well, let us know if you have any concerns about sexual function in the future.
Unspoken comment: Please use a condom!