Today I had a patient who came in for her pap. She appeared to be very, very high. A major tip-off was the fact that she nodded off 3 times during the interview part of the visit. Despite this, I decided to go ahead with the pap. I figured she probably had a difficult time getting to the clinic, so we might as well capitalize on the time that we had together. During the pap, she (unsurprisingly) nodded off again. What was surprising was what happened when she woke up:
Patient: “Wha?” (wakes up and starts kicking my arm as I am doing her pap)
Me: “Don’t kick me!”
Patient, slurring speech: “Ohhh, I thought it was the dog.” (mumbling unintelligibly, nods off again)
Me: “Nope! Just finishing your pap!”
So I had just one lingering question…whose dog sneaks up on them and inserts a speculum while they sleep?!