The magical mystery land of community health

I don't make this stuff up!…but I do change identifying information.

Another edition of the Totally Inappropriate Comment January 26, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 2:03 am

Sunday night means grocery shopping, The Simpsons…and reflecting on last week’s Totally Inappropriate Comments:

  • Patient with a UTI: “Um, can I ask you a question? Do you think my bladder infection is because I had anal sex with my boyfriend and then he took it from the back and put it into my…you know…vagina…again?” Actual comment: “Did he shower and wash with soap before he put his penis back in your vagina? No? Then yes, that is why you have a urinary tract infection.” Totally Inappropriate Comment: “DUH. And also…EWW.”
  • Patient with asthma exacerbation: “Yes, I’m using my inhalers every day.” Actual comment: “Hmm, well I see that this Flovent inhaler expired over a year ago. Are you sure you haven’t been missing any doses?” TIC: “Admit it! You haven’t used this inhaler in years! Gotcha!!”
  • 65 year-old patient who had only seen a doctor once in the past 10 years: “I just felt fine, so I didn’t come to the doctor.” Actual comment: “Well, I’m glad you came back. Your blood pressure is really high and that fingerstick we just did shows that your sugar is really high, too.” TIC: “Seriously, you’re about to stroke out from your hypertension. Your blood sugar is 299 and that’s just on our office glucometer. Wait until we get your HgbA1c back!” (FYI, the HgbA1c was 13)
  • Me, to a patient who had previously claimed he had no notable medical history: “I checked the computer, and I saw that you were seen 10 years ago by a surgeon for the removal of a cancerous tumor. Do you remember that?” Patient: “Oh yeah, I did have surgery.” Me: “Did anybody tell you that the tumor had cancerous cells?” Patient: “Oh, yeah, I think they told me.” Me: “Did you ever have any follow up on that?” Patient: “No.” Actual comment: “Well, I’m going to call the surgeon’s office and see what we need to do to make sure that tumor didn’t come back.” TIC: “Really?? You had cancer and you never even went back for your post-op visit? It doesn’t bother you that you could have an easily detectable and treatable cancer that could now be metastasized to your entire body?”
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2 Responses to “Another edition of the Totally Inappropriate Comment”

  1. dregina Says:

    Back when I worked the phones for ACS I had a guy call in asking “How much blood is ok to have in your stool, and how much is a problem?” As the conversation progressed, he said he had first noticed just a tiny bit of blood, but now, a year later, he was up to “maybe a cup every time I go #2.” And no matter how many ways I said, “YOU NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR,” he just kept on pushing me, wanting me to tell him that one cup, oh, that’s fine, it’s when you get up to two cups that you have a problem.

  2. knifemouth Says:

    Reading your blogs up to this point have made me seriously consider if I am having another hyperthyroid ‘bad spell’ and that much of the symptoms are being covered up by other medications. ie: ravenous hunger cloaked by Provigil, which keeps me awake vs. morphine.

    It was a long road to get to the point where I wondered this, and I can’t really pinpoint the turning point.

    Also, I recall that my numbers used to always go hyper then hypo and then back to hyper over the years, but no Doctor has ever taken this seriously. Now I am wondering if right now (based on behaviorals and some physical stuff) I am in a state of Hashimoto’s Toxicosis.

    Also concerned about Agranulocytosis due to the Methimazole… they say antiepileptics which I believe Clonazepam qualifies as, not to mention GOLD which as you know, is in my grill. Five!

    Anyway. This is just proof that reading is dumb. Wicked dumb.


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