The magical mystery land of community health

I don't make this stuff up!…but I do change identifying information.

Something to look forward to October 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 1:26 pm

One of the small pleasures at my job is reading the “Reason for Appointment” section of my schedule.  The phone operators at my clinic are not medically trained, which makes for some pretty hilarious appointments.  For example, next Monday I have a pending appointment for “Bugs in Pubic Hair.”  This week I saw somebody with a complaint of “Manopause” (although one of her problems is a decreased libido, so maybe that was accurate).  Last week I saw someone for an appointment scheduled as “Dehorstion.” (???–the patient had both dehydration and exhaustion, and I’m not sure which one the operator was going for).  I also saw someone this week for  “Ear and a Tonsil.”  There’s the always-ominous “Pt States it is Personal.”  And then there’s my all-time favorite: “Fly-like symptoms” (Would that be the compound eyes, the garbage eating or the buzzing?)

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5 Responses to “Something to look forward to”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Perhaps it’s a regional variation on the “shave and a haircut” riff: Ear and a Tonsil – two bits!

  2. aap Says:

    i also like:
    c/o odor
    bump on privates
    boil on behind

  3. aap Says:

    oh crap, now that i posted that, i think that you and i can resurrect our joint haiku skills and probably publish a chap book of chief complaint haikus!! we will be rich poet nurses after all.

    complains of odor
    well yeah i douche weekly
    bacteria flourish

    boil in my ass crack
    ooh it hurts when i sit down
    pilonidal cyst

    cauliflower bumps
    sadly papiloma is not
    name of butterfly

  4. lesbonurse Says:

    aap, you are a genius!

  5. Candi Says:

    Ok crying now for real. My husband is so confused, lol!!


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