The magical mystery land of community health

I don't make this stuff up!…but I do change identifying information.

Monday is haiku day September 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 1:15 am

Cute little lady.

No front teeth, old and laughing–

Brightens up my day

Eighty-six pound girl:

Denies eating disorder.

Should I believe her?

Taking a noon walk

Hear my name from passing car:

Patient waves, smiling


Some great news! September 29, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 12:13 am

A very exciting piece of mail arrived at my house this weekend.  I got a federal loan repayment contract!  Hurray!  Basically, it means that I agree to stay in my current underserved health clinic for 2 more years, and the government gives me $50,000 to apply to my loan debt.  Sweet!  I spent a lot of time this spring filling out forms and compiling a huge packet of stuff for the application.  Periodically, I would mutter to myself “They better give me this goddamn award or I’m going to stab out my eyes.”  Well, my eyes are safe!  (Thank god, because it’s pretty hard to assess a rash without ’em.)

I’m so relieved to get the loan repayment.  Now the total amount of my student loans will decrease from “Almost as much as we paid for our house” to “Cost of a Porsche”  Whew!


For some reason, the patient didn’t seem to like this advice September 16, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 2:50 am

File this under: Advice Not Taken

Me: I’m glad you came back to the clinic.  Remember those lab tests that we did a few months ago?  The test showed that you have Hepatitis C.

Patient: Oh man.  (slurring speech and reeking of alcohol)  How do I get this taken care of?

Me: I’m going to refer you to a liver doctor.  But listen, the first thing you need to do is quit drinking.  It’s terrible for your liver, especially when you have Hepatitis C.

Patient: Mmmmhmmm.

Me: We can’t start treating for Hepatitis C until you stop drinking.  The social worker can help you get into a detox program

Patient: I don’t need your help!  I think I’ve had more than enough help today!  (Gets up to leave)

Me: Don’t forget your lab slip!  We really need to know how your liver is doing!

Patient: (grabs lab slip and stomps away)


Tuesday Haiku September 10, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 12:47 am

Stack of charts on desk,

Quickly out of control!

Panic and fatigue.

Forty-two patients

Scheduled for derm consult doc

In 4-hr shift!

(extra line: No consult for me!)

Home from day of work

House smells like a damn pet store!

Dog has awful gas



Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 12:22 am

I was going to write about my day of full mystery rashes and stomach flu.  But then I stumbled onto this: The Story of Lisa Marie Pond.  In addition to reminding me about the fragility of life, it is a terrifying reminder of how easily our rights as queer patients can be sqaushed.  It’s also a reminder to me to keep fighting daily for my partner, my friends, myself and my community.