The magical mystery land of community health

I don't make this stuff up!…but I do change identifying information.

Don’t lie to me! March 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 1:15 am

I have a plea that I’m sure is shared by every healthcare provider on earth: please don’t bullshit me! Just admit that you haven’t followed any of my instructions, and then we can both understand why you’re not getting better despite my best efforts!

Here are some of the recent lies I have heard:

  • “The cocaine in my urine test was from the lidocaine patch for my back”
  • “I’ve been using the flovent for my asthma every day just like you told me and it’s not helping at all.”
  • “I quit smoking”
  • “I’m not on any medication for my pain at all” (when I called this patient’s orthopedist I found out that she got a rx for oxycodone 4 days ago)
  • “The other doctor didn’t help me at all” (from a patient who declined to get the recommended chest xray, did not show up for her follow-up exam and was vague about whether or not she was actually using her controller inhaler as prescribed by the NP at her last visit)
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One Response to “Don’t lie to me!”

  1. Kathy Says:

    Hmmm . . . doesn’t sound much different from some of the things that I hear as a teacher:
    You never told us there was a test! (After it is announced every day for a week.)
    I don’t talk but everyone else distracts me in that class!
    The teacher gave me a referral for no reason! (Later find out that the student was screaming profanity in the middle of class.)
    That teacher doesn’t teach us anything!
    I wasn’t listening to my iPod! (After everyone clearly saw the student with headphones in ears.)

    At least lying in school doesn’t have quite as extreme consequences!


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