I have a plea that I’m sure is shared by every healthcare provider on earth: please don’t bullshit me! Just admit that you haven’t followed any of my instructions, and then we can both understand why you’re not getting better despite my best efforts!
Here are some of the recent lies I have heard:
- “The cocaine in my urine test was from the lidocaine patch for my back”
- “I’ve been using the flovent for my asthma every day just like you told me and it’s not helping at all.”
- “I quit smoking”
- “I’m not on any medication for my pain at all” (when I called this patient’s orthopedist I found out that she got a rx for oxycodone 4 days ago)
- “The other doctor didn’t help me at all” (from a patient who declined to get the recommended chest xray, did not show up for her follow-up exam and was vague about whether or not she was actually using her controller inhaler as prescribed by the NP at her last visit)