The magical mystery land of community health

I don't make this stuff up!…but I do change identifying information.

The Totally Inappropriate Comment August 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lesbonurse @ 2:08 am

I’m still working up to the trans health post…I want it to be good, which will take time, which is a stumbling block to the actual writing of the post.  For now I’ll just write a quickie.

  • Patient: “I just moved in with my new girlfriend!” Me: “That’s great.  How long have you been together?”  Patient: “A week. She’s really nice.  I just wish she didn’t have so many problems.  She has a little ‘habit,’ so I’m helping her out with some money.”  Actual comment: “Well, no offense, but maybe you should be careful where you put your valuables while you’re getting to know her better.”  Totally Inappropriate Comment: “Look, I know that you’re old and lonely and kinda crazy and unwashed, and that this girl is putting out in exchange for the money and a place to stay…but seriously, this is not going to end well for you.”
  • Patient: “I need a brain specialist, someone who can tell me about what’s wrong with my brain.  A specialist.  For my brain.”  Me: “Didn’t I refer you to a Neurologist a couple of months ago?  That’s a brain specialist.”  Patient: “No, but I need someone to talk about my brain.”  Actual comment: “Yes, that’s what a neurologist does.  It’s their specialty.”  Totally Inappropriate Comment: “Yes, you do need a brain specialist.  But I’m not sure what they can do for you at this point.”
  • Patient: “I have a cough, and phlegm, and weasels in my chest.”  Actual comment: “Wheezes in your chest?”  Totally Inappropriate Comment: “Weasels?  Bwahahahaha!”
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2 Responses to “The Totally Inappropriate Comment”

  1. meinemo Says:

    Awesome!

  2. Sonia Says:

    About the future post on caring for transgender patients, you don’t have to put all your knowledge and information into one entry. Because after you have writtten that, what would you write later? We don’t want to lose you as a blogger, so please write out your thoughts and ideas bit by bit, in multiple entries. That way, we can enjoy your blog for a long time to come!


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